Happy Anniversary

Five years ago today, I married my best friend. After all this time, he still makes my heart skip a beat when he smiles and still gives me butterflies when he enters the room!

 

My husband is truly an answer to my prayers. From the time I was a little girl, I prayed that God would send me a husband that would love Him first and then me. God blessed me with someone that loves me for me, despite my “craziness” at times. I know that I can be a little hard to get along with at times, but he understands me.

 I’m trying to become the wife that God would have me to be and it is a daily effort. I’m not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I want to please God and then my husband. I’ve been reading the book A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George and it has truly been a blessing to me.

I’m looking forward to the years to come with my wonderful husband!

Marriage

I love Facebook! Okay, I admitted it! I use it to share God's Word and encourage my "friends"." I saw that several of my friends had this post titled "Marriage" on their walls and since I'm so curious, I decided to click on it. I'm glad that I did and as you read, you'll see why.


When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.


On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.


Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

10 Simple Happiness Tips

Don't Worry. . . Be Happy!

1. Be your own best friend – You have to love yourself first! Enjoy being you and embrace everything about yourself as a person.

2. Laugh – It really does make you feel better and gives you an instant mood boost.

3. Sing Out Loud – Who cares if you have never won a Grammy for your vocals? Sing out loud anyway! It may be in the shower, the elevator, the car or in line at the grocery store . . . so let’s hear it!

4. Chocolate – You can’t help but smile while eating a piece.

5. Sleep – Make sure you’re getting enough to feel rejuvenated in the morning! When you’re well rested, you’ll feel better because you’ll be in a better mood.

6. “Me” Time – Take some time for you each day, even if it is only for a few minutes.

7. Get over “It” – Don’t waste your time thinking or worrying about things you can’t change. Let it go!

8. Say “NO” – Sometimes, it is ok to say “no” to activities that will bring you too much unnecessary stress. Let someone else handle it because you can’t do everything.

9. Stay Healthy – It will be really hard to be happy when you’re not healthy and your body is worn out. You must take care of yourself.

10. Maintain healthy relationships – “Toxic” relationships will instantly put you in a bad mood. Surround yourself with positive people.

The ABC's of Marriage

I came across this the other day and wanted to share it:


Accept one another as he or she is

Be sensitive to each other's needs

Compliment each other regularly

Don't go to bed angry or with an argument unsettled

Express your love and appreciation for each other daily

Forgive one another totally and unconditionally

Give 100% of yourself to the marriage relationship

Honor one another

Identify areas of conflict and work on root causes

Judge not

Keep courting

Listen to one another

Measure up to your God-assigned role in the marriage

Never drag up past mistakes

Open your heart to one another in honesty and understanding

Pray together

Quit nagging

Renew your commitment to God and to each other

Speak the truth in love

Treat each other as friends and lovers

Undergird one another in child-rearing, work and responsibilities

View your marriage as a covenant before God

Worship together and become involved in a local Bible believing church

X-ray your heart with the prayer, "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

Yield yourselves daily to the will of God

Zero in on common goals and interests and enjoy each other for life

"Except the LORD build the house, they labor in vain that build it"  (Psalm 127:1).

The Green-Eyed Monster

Proverbs 27:4 tells us that “an angry person is dangerous, but a jealous person is even worse.” You mean of all things that are dangerous, jealousy is one of them? Anger can be bad and we know how it can erupt and cause harm, but jealousy is even more destructive. Jealousy isn’t just dangerous, but can be taken a step further and considered deadly.

What is jealousy? It is a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one thinks they more rightfully deserve. You may be plagued by such thoughts like why did she get it? I’ve worked just as hard. I’ve been a much better Christian than she’s been, and the list could go on. You want the possessions that belong to another person. It may be their income, their talents, their family, their waist line, their opportunities, their legs, their personality, their humor, their husband, their children, their nose, just to name a few. When you’re a jealous person, it is all about you, not the other person.

This is where Cain faulted. He was so jealous of Abel that his jealousy drove him to kill his own brother. He resented God’s acceptance of his brother and it wasn’t until he killed that he was “satisfied.”

The only cure for jealousy is to develop a relationship with Christ. One might think that once they get what they’re “lusting” after, that everything will be ok, but there is always someone out there with something bigger or better than what you have. We must tell God about our desires and dreams and ask Him to show us how we should live. When we are setting goals that honor God, we leave the results of wherever or whatever we end up with up to Him.

Bi-Polar Christian

Sometimes, I feel as if I’m guilty of being a “Bi-Polar Christian.” I’m up one moment and with a change in the way things are going, I feel myself struggling to get back up again. I know the Bible and believe that it is true, but am guilty of not always applying it like I should. There, I’m honest enough to admit it! I don’t want to be hypocritical and say one thing, knowing that I’m not up to par.
 So, here I am God. I can’t do this on my own and know that I have to have Your help! You can have it! I’m going to believe in Your Word and what You have said.

There is so much that God has for me and it is time for me to go out and get it. I can’t let what someone else is or isn’t doing determine how much I’m going to do. One day, I will have to answer for myself. Like they say, “every tub must stand on its own bottom.” We can’t change other people, only ourselves. So, that’s what I’m doing – I’m changing myself so that I will no longer feel like a Bi-Polar Christian.

A Woman of Strength

A strong woman works out every day to keep her body in shape... but a woman of strength kneels in prayer to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn't afraid of anything... but a woman of strength shows courage in the midst of her fear...


A strong woman won't let anyone get the best of her...but a woman of strength gives the best of her to everyone...

A strong woman walks sure footedly...but a woman of strength knows God will catch her when she falls...
 
A strong woman wears the look of confidence on her face...but a woman of strength wears grace...

A strong woman has faith that she is strong enough for the journey...but a woman of strength has faith that it is in the journey that she will become strong.


--Author Unknown